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League of Inveterate Poets

The out-of-context contextuality of a foolish sage

My Dream at 53

By on July 21, 2010

In the movie Inception, the wife of the main character reminds him that when he asked her to marry him, he told her that he had had a dream, “that we would grow old together.”

As I mark my 53rd year today, I have no greater dream than to grow old together with my beloved LSW (Long-Suffering Wife), Karyn.

In a recent post I gave some details about my current battle with cancer. Aside from the normal “I could get hit by a truck” risks of life, this has been the first and only major threat to the fulfillment of that dream. Before this I knew 52 years in which my only time in a hospital was to get a couple stitches in my lip after bumping into my car’s steering wheel.

At times I’ve been tempted to give up the fight. “Times”…who am I kidding. Just a few days ago I felt like giving up the fight. Chemotherapy makes me wretchedly ill for days on end. I have two more chemo infusions, and the thought of volunteering to do that to myself two more times seems almost unbearable at times. I just want to quit and take my chances.

And then I have that dream, the same one the protagonist of Inception had. I see Karyn and me, strolling down a lane, hand in hand. I see my lovely daughters and grandchildren, now grown and finding dreams of their own. And I’m ready to fight on.

Life is not guaranteed from one moment to the next. But it is worth living.

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