League of Inveterate Poets

By Mark Traphagen on June 17, 2009

No other song fragment in recent memory has gotten itself lodged in my head quite like the dramatic ending of the Killer song “All These Things That I’ve Done” (video). The words

“I got soul, but I’m not a soldier”

are chanted so powerfully that most people probably assume that’s the name of the song (I did, until I looked it up on this here Internet).

But what in the world can that possibly mean? Would you ever observe someone with the attribute of “soul” and immediately suspect that they might, indeed, be a soldier?

“Oh, what an awesome collection of James Brown CDs you have! Say, are you army or marines?”

Let’s admit it. We don’t care if “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier” means anything at all. It’s just fun to shout. So I’m thinking that once we get bored of “I got soul, but I’m not a soldier,” we may need to find some alternatives. I’m starting a list:

I got holes, but I’m not a holster

I got poles, but I’m not a pollster

I got bowls, but I’m not a bowler

I take naps, but I’m not Napster (HT: @ddeboer)

I got feet, but I’m not fetid (HT: my wife)

I got hams, but I’m not a hamster

I got gangs, but I’m not a gangster

I got friends, but I’m not a Friendster (@charliepark)

I got Tums, but I’m not a Tumblr (@charliepark)

I got folds, but I’m not a folder (@charliepark)

***All the rest will appear in the FriendFeed widget below – add yours there or in the comments!

Can you come up with some contributions? I’ll keep expanding the list as we get contributions.