Looking at the Schofield KJV Reference Bible I had in high school (complete with my own hand-drawn “Chronology of the End Times” chart inside the back cover), I realized how easily drawn I have been over the years to various schemes for reading the Bible. The catch always is if you don’t have the scheme, you can’t possibly interpret correctly.

So here is latter day prophet Homer Simpson’s formula for calculating the date of the Rapture:

Homer: “The Book of Revelation has 404 verses. Add the number of people at the Last Supper. Multiply by whatever complex mathematical formulas you can find. Minus the number of Filipinos in the Bible, and you get–”

Marge: “Three million, one hundred and–”

Homer: “No! You get 3[insert colon]15,05[insert slash]18…3:15 p.m on May 18! That’s when the Rapture will begin!”

Marge: “May 18? That’s one week from today!”

Homer: “A week? Uh, that’s [scribble, scribble, calculate]…seven days from now!!”

View the complete Simpsons “Left Below” segment on YouTube

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