Zen for People Who Take Life Too Seriously
Obviously it’s been a while since I posted here. Several reasons for that, among them a wonderful trip to North Carolina to visit oldest daughter and family and working on the house we’ll be moving to in August. Also, though, I’ve felt a need to give the Sacred Journey a little time in a roadside cafe to let some of the heat settle down. Too many serious posts with 50-comment debates in a row.
So here’s a little time waster I found on a message board. No attribution was given, but this is the Internet, where things just appear. Personal note to my LSW: I’m just quoting this; I disavow #17!
1. Save The Whales. Collect The Whole Set.
2. A Day Without Sunshine is Like, Night.
3. On The Other Hand, You Have Different Fingers..
4. I Just Got Lost In Thought. It Wasn’t Familiar Territory.
5. 42.7% Of All Statistics Are Made Up On The Spot.
6. Light Travels Faster Than Sound, Which Is Why Some People Appear
Bright Until You Hear Them Speak.
7. Honk If You Love Peace And Quiet.
8. Remember, Half The People You Know Are Below Average.
9. He Who Laughs Last, Thinks Slowest.
10. Depression Is Merely Anger Without Enthusiasm.
11. The Early Bird May Get The Worm, But The Second Mouse Gets
The Cheese.
12. I Drive Way Too Fast To Worry About Cholesterol.
13. Support Bacteria. They’re The Only Culture Some People Have.
14. Monday Is An Awful Way To Spend 1/7 Of Your Week.
15. A Clear Conscience Is Usually The Sign Of A Bad Memory.
16. Change Is Inevitable, Except From Vending Machines.
17. Get A New Car For Your Spouse. It’ll Be A Great Trade!
18. Plan To Be Spontaneous Tomorrow.
19. Always Try To Be Modest, And Be Proud Of It!
20. If You Think Nobody Cares, Try Missing A Couple Of Payments.
21. How Many Of You Believe In Psycho-Kinesis? Raise My Hand.
22 . Ok,…. So What’s The Speed Of Dark?
23. How Do You Tell When You’re Out Of Invisible Ink?
24. If Everything Seems To Be Going Well, You Have Obviously
Overlooked Something.
25. Hard Work May Pay Off In The Future. Laziness Pays Off Now.
26. Everyone Has A Photographic Memory. Some Just Do Not Have
Film.
27. If Barbie Is So Popular, Why Do You Have To Buy Her Friends?
28. How Much Deeper Would The Ocean Be Without Sponges?
29. Eagles May Soar, But Weasels Do Not Get Sucked Into Jet Engines.
30. What Happens If You Get Scared Half To Death Twice?
31. I Used To Have An Open Mind But My Brains Kept Falling Out.
32. I Couldn’t Repair Your Brakes, So I Made Your Horn Louder.
33. Why Do Psychics Have To Ask You For Your Name?
34. Just Remember - If The World Did Not Suck, We Would All Fall Off.
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June 7th, 2006 at 3:56 pm
You’re 3/4 dead.
June 7th, 2006 at 5:47 pm
Exactly! You could continute to be scared half to death forever and never be dead. It may be the long sought after fountain of youth!
June 7th, 2006 at 6:19 pm
Sounds more like the life of Gollum than the fountain of youth!
June 7th, 2006 at 6:43 pm
No one is more depressing than a professor during exam grading time.
June 7th, 2006 at 8:17 pm
Nothing like the grind of grading — and worse, the curse of administrative duties — to make one feel “thin, sort of stretched … like butter that has been scraped over too much bread.”
Sorry to be so depressing!
June 7th, 2006 at 8:19 pm
No apologies needed, Doug! Having been a teacher, “I feel your pain.” Summer = students are out having fun, but your work has just begun.
Seriously, we’re praying for all of you in the OT department. We know these are hard days….and not just because of normal teaching stuff.
June 7th, 2006 at 10:11 pm
Thanks, Mark. Much appreciated.
June 8th, 2006 at 12:47 am
June 12th, 2006 at 9:18 am
Man, Sage, how do you know *I* didn’t write those? Eh?