Sacred Journey: A “Shuv” in the Right Direction
This past week I did something I don’t think I’ve ever done before in the 2-1/2 years I’ve been keeping this blog: I took down a post that had already been active long enough to have generated a long chain of comments by readers. I have resisted doing this in the past because a) I believe that part of the “mission” of this blog is to live out who I am–warts, sins, and all–in public so that I can receive interaction, encouragement, correction, and admonition, all of which I hope will contribute to my sanctification and ability to further glorify God; and b) because it is unfair to those who contribute comments to the post, who often end up sounding silly or nonsensical because the context of their comments has disappeared. To the latter, I offer my profound apologies. I want to show respect to all who would take some of their precious time to read what I have written, and I realize that pulling the contextual rug out from under your feet can be construed as deeply disrespectful.
Nevertheless, sometimes larger considerations prevail. Some interaction with my ever-patient and gracious “long suffering wife” Karyn, reinforced by some conversation with some of my beloved professors and WTS friends, led me to believe that the post in question needed to be put to death. But the wonder of the gospel of Jesus Christ is that it always turns death into new life.
So today I want to proclaim a “resurrection” of sorts for this Sacred Journey. I had named this blog “Sacred Journey” because, in part, I wanted it to be a public record of my walk in the Spirit with Jesus Christ to (I hope!) the ever-increasing glorification of God the Father. And a journey it certainly has been, with all that metaphor entails. Those of you who have chosen to come along on the journey have seen sometimes the public face I like best to display: the slightly more mature, experienced Christian; the guy everyone feels they can talk to and share their hopes, dreams, agonies, and failures, and be assured of a sympathetic ear and encouraging word. But all too often you have seen the ugly idol that still lurks in my heart, at war with the rightful reign of Jesus which should have the preeminent claim on me. That idol goes by various names; but his chief name is Pride, and he manifests himself in me as Self-promoter, Attention-seeker, Invective-spewer, and Sarcasm-producer. Confronting this idol has been a long and painful process, but it is a process in which I sense the loving and gentle-yet-firm hand of my Father…and so I seek it. Anyway, all this to say that at this moment, after the debacle of that hateful, sarcastic post, it is time for me to go public with my repentance, part of which means asking for accountability checks from you, my precious readers.
The “shuv†alluded to in the title of this post is a Hebrew word which means “to turn back, reverse direction.†Repentance, as we should all know by now, is never just a matter of feeling remorse or saying you are sorry. True repentance involves making a decided shuv. So here is mine. I hereby proclaim the following as my guiding principles for future posts on Sacred Journey. (I quote here directly from the concluding chapter of Peter Enns’s book Inspiration & Incarnation, since it got me into this mess :wink:, and I could find no better words to say what I wanted to say.)
It has been my experience that sometimes our first impulse is to react to new ideas and vilify the person holding them, not considering that person’s Christian character. We jump to conclusions and assume the worst rather than hearing—really hearing—each other out. What would be a breath of fresh air, not to mention a testimony to those around us, is to see an atmosphere, a culture, among conservative, traditional, orthodox Christians that models basic principles of the gospel:
- Humility on the part of scholars [and bloggers!] to be sensitive to how others will hear them and on the part of those whose preconceptions are being challenged.
- Love that assumes the best of brothers and sisters in Christ, not that looks for any difference of opinion as an excuse to go on the attack.
- Patience to know that no person or tradition is beyond correction, and therefore no one should jump to conclusions about another’s motives.
How we carry on this very important conversation is a direct result of why. Ultimately, it is not about us, but about God. We must be very careful not to confuse God’s kingdom with our own. We do not engage in biblical study to build our own private kingdoms; we do so because God in Christ has allowed us to co-labor with him in a kingdom he has already built.
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April 22nd, 2006 at 1:12 pm
So this…
…has gone by the wayside?
April 22nd, 2006 at 1:47 pm
A good and valid question, _steve. I can only answer that I have to balance the impulse toward “authenticity,” a big buzzword among young evangelicals and post-evangelicals these days, with the biblical call to exercise “self-control” (Gal. 5:23), and the “bridling of my tongue” (James 1:26). I am not my own, I have been “bought with a price” (1 Cor 6:20); as such I must always remember that I speak as a representative and ambassador of Christ. This is the lesson I’ve needed to ponder this past week: an ambassador does not speak for himself but for the one who sent him (John 7:18).
But don’t worry, while in this part of the eschatological reign of Christ, I still walk about in this flesh. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of opportunities to see me open wounds and bleed in public. I will fall, and you my gracious friends will be among those who will lovingly pick me up and “shuv” me in the right direction. My post only sets out my intention to not longer set out to go the wrong way; to willfully pursue discord and hatred when I am fully conscious that that is exactly what I am doing. That is the standard to which I’m asking ot be held.
April 22nd, 2006 at 1:53 pm
By the way, for clarity’s sake, my “manifesto” above does not mean that I will no longer interact with theological issues. Nor does it mean that I will not write critiques or take on hard questions. As a matter of fact, I am working at this moment on what I hope will be a fair and thoughtful response to the Helm review of Pete Enns’s book. I simply intend to change the tone of such responses to (I hope!) more model how Christ would have us work through our diversity and disagreements within the Body of Christ.
April 22nd, 2006 at 2:38 pm
If by “buzzword” you mean that the concept of authenticity is little more than a fad, I disagree. One reason I’ve always loved this blog is that I can see a real person here. A real person loves and hates.
Your stated goal, to emulate Christ, is a worthy one indeed; but it’s simply not possible to accomplish. I’m afraid that what will end up happening is that this blog will become the loudspeaker of a self-confident Bible thumper, and that a great gulf will erupt between the internet persona “The Foolish Sage” and the real man Mark Traphagen. How then will your readers be edified? How then will the persona serve the cause of Christ? I can just as easily imagine what a hollow shell of a persona would say in any given situation, having been under the pastoral leadership of several of them in my time.
Maybe the disconnect here is that you see this blog as a ministry you operate. If so, then rein in your tongue all you like, for a ministry can’t properly reflect a human any more than a single mirror can reflect the whole universe. I, on the other hand, see this blog as a ministry that your readers and commenters operate upon YOU.
No sick man goes to a support group for the terminally ill and stubbornly refuses to admit his illness. If I’m being too cryptic, let me explain: you are the sick man, your malady is a sinful nature, and we are the support group. And this post reads to me like you’re resigning from the support group because you’re under the delusion that you’re not sick anymore.
But let’s bring this out of analogical territory and be more thoroughly grounded in the reality of the situation. This post is, in part, an apology for your behavior. That’s good; apologies are good because they remind us of unfathomable grace. But you couple this apology with a declaration to sin no more (a declaration you deny, oddly enough, in the comments), and I find that unsettling.
I’ll continue reading Sacred Journey for the time being, if only to see in what direction you take this. But I am nervous.
April 22nd, 2006 at 3:47 pm
Part of the frustration of trying to put one’s thoughts into writing is the danger of saying too much or too little. Either one risks misunderstanding on the part of one’s readers. This is exactly why I value blogging with comments enabled as my venue of written expression. It is often in the comments following a post that I have opportunity both to grow (as others bring in perspectives I may not have considered) and clarify (where readers’ questions make it apparent that I have not done a good enough job explaining myself in the original post).
So I’ll try to interact with your last comment point-by-point, _steve, as I once again find it to be a worthy and well-thought-out challenge.
Amen! In my zeal to truly shuv I indeed may have been guilty of sounding overly triumphalistic. I in no way intend to portray that I have gained some kind of perfectionism or complete victory over sin and can now just move on in my newly-attained glorified state. To the contrary, I tried to make clear in the post that I know i will fall again from my stated goals and will need correction and repentance. But that does not make the goals any less worthy, as you yourself have said they are. This is the journey aspect. But what good is a journey if we are never making any progress? If we remain in the driveway saying, “I’m not going to even start the car because I know I’ll never get anywhere,” then are we on a journey at all? The call of Jesus is a call to be on a journey, a pigrimage if you will, in which the ultimate destination is not some amorphous “heaven” but rather conformity to the image of Christ. I’m sure I don’t need to quote for you Paul’s metaphors about building a building or running a race. That’s all I’m trying to do; not saying I’ve already attained, but saying that I want to commit to putting my foot out to take one more step (forward!) down the road.
This has been the value for me practically speaking in the “already/not yet” eschatology I have been learning at Westminster. The Kingdom of God is “already” here now and working in us and in the world, but it is also “not yet” in the fullness that we are promised it will one day have. Yet since the time of Jesus’s proclamation, that eschatological Kingdom has been working its way back into our time. It is pulling us forward, calling us to strive, with the Spirit’s enabling, to be more and more like the King and his Kingdom.
That’s all I’m trying to do.
I suspect that the Bible thumper reference may allude to the numerous Bible references I sprinkled throughout my previous response to you. Occassionally I will thump my Bible, yes, as I did in that comment, because again my goal is “conformity to the image of Christ” (progressively, over time, with many setbacks along the way). And one of the primary places where I learn what that image looks like is in the Scripture. So, guilty as charged, at least for that comment. But I seriously doubt that you are going to see me transformed into Ochuk’s classic character!
I’m afraid that I must categorically reject your assertion that to strive to be conformed to the image of Christ, that to which all Christians are called, is the same as becoming “a hollow shell of a persona.” Following Christ does not mean we become any less individuals, but it does mean that we have a higher authority than our own whims and desires.
This blog is a “ministry” only in the sense that, as a follower of Jesus Christ, all my life is a ministry. I’m working very hard here at seminary (and believe me, it ain’t easy in a place like this!) to not allow that false dichotomy of “real life” vs. ministry to take over. Ministry means serving, it means that in all I do I am striving to do or speak in a way that will edify you, build you up, point you toward Christ. Because–as I hope I’ve established by now–I know I’m not perfect, sometimes that ministry will take place by me blowing it and then having to repent. That was what today’s post was all about.
And as I said in my previous comment, this does not mean that I will go all polyanna and only write about butterfiy kisses and lovely days in spring. I consider it very much a part of “ministry” to be critical where criticism is needed, and to be willing to engage difficult and even controversial topics. All I am saying is that I know it is not necessary, and indeed counterproductive, to do so with intentional hatred and invective. When I do do that, I hope that you will continue to see me repent as I’ve tried to do today.
And as to your last statement, that this is a “ministry that [my] readers and commentators operate upon [ME],” I wholeheartedly agree. That has already been happening, and is in part responsible for today’s post.
I’m hoping that I’ve already sufficiently answered that one. Yes, I am a sick man, sick with sin. Yes, you are (in part) my support group. No, I am not “resigning” nor do I have any delusion that I’m “cured.” Do we have that down yet?
Again, I think I’ve already answered this. By now I hope it is clear to all my readers that I have in no way made a “declaration to sin no more.” To state a goal is not to say that you have attained that goal.
April 22nd, 2006 at 3:58 pm
The only concern that I ever have with what you’ve done, Mark, is that redaction never un-says the words that were said. I’ve generally found it far better—after redactions in the past—to simply make use of the strike-through capability of HTML to indicate those comments that I feel to no longer be legitimate. If necessary, I write a second post updating and linking to the first, noting the reasons behind it.
I don’t know that this is any better or worse than what you’ve done; I just know that it’s where I’ve come to at this point.
April 22nd, 2006 at 4:34 pm
That may indeed be a useful way of dealing with posts of which I later “repent” in the future Geof, and I take it under advisement. But I’ll just have to ask you to trust for now that I did what I did under strong conviction, based on what I consider wise counsel from some who are close to me on a day-to-day basis. It may still have been an error, but if so at least it was an error on the side of desiring to cause no more hurt and damage than I had already caused in a mere 12 hours. As I said before, I’ll take my lumps for that decision, as I obviously already am.
April 22nd, 2006 at 6:00 pm
As a fellow student of Hebrew (sort of) , I recognize “shuv” as one of the more difficult verbs to conjugate and recognize. It’s middle often dissapears under normal use, right? And even when it doesn’t, that just makes it all the more frustrating. I have a difficult time with it.
April 22nd, 2006 at 6:09 pm
John, John… you’re so coy hiding behind middle weak Hebrew verbs! You, who were one of the dear friends who tried to warn me about this dangerous inflammatory tendency toward unproductive sarcasm in my life months ago.
But perhaps there is a metaphor buried somewhere in your “disappearing middle”? Probably I’m reading in too much….
April 22nd, 2006 at 6:36 pm
A metaphor of a disappearing middle would be AWESOME in my life … just for the record.
April 22nd, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Great post Mark. I appreciate your heart and your example.
April 22nd, 2006 at 7:31 pm
Me and every middle-aged guy reading this blog join you in a hearty Amen!
April 22nd, 2006 at 8:11 pm
I think I see the disconnect accurately now; and that I didn’t earlier is a testament only to my profound and immeasurable stupidity. You see, upon the basis of Scriptural authority (and I’m sure confirmed by other sources too), the Christian life as a progressive journey in spiritual and practical maturity. Upon the basis of my own personal experience (which everyone values higher than Scripture…although I doubt you remember me making that argument over the telephone in the one conversation we’ve ever had :lol:), I see the Christian life as a “journey” or a race in the sense that we are all continually running as fast as we can from death. I see no genuine progression whatsoever in this process.
That being said, your thorough and thoughtful reply is much appreciated, Mark; I do understand more of where you’re coming from now.
And I also should note that shuv is by far my favorite Hebrew verb, only because it reminds me of the lecture in which our professor re-translated Psalm 23:6 for us; by the end of that lecture, the entire class sat in stunned, tearful silence.
April 22nd, 2006 at 8:38 pm
I’m sorry that your experience of the Christian life is so negative, _steve. Not to discount your personal experience, but I wonder how much that is colored by your personal disposition, and even some medical considerations that you and I both know about. I for one have faith that Christ has indeed worked in you and “grown” you in ways that, however small they may be, you have not been disposed to see.
But that aside, Karyn and I also had a profound experience working through Psalm 23 with Doug Green, and the shuv in verse six, which most English translations have no idea what to do with, was one of the reasons. I wonder how close his interpretation was to that of your professor?
April 22nd, 2006 at 9:57 pm
It was indeed shuv, as opposed to…I can’t remember the Qal3MS form of the other verb, but it’s translated “dwell or reside,” and the house of YHWH was translated as the temple.
So v.6b read: “and I will return to the Temple of the Lord for as long as I live.”
April 22nd, 2006 at 10:42 pm
Exactly! That was it.
Doug’s been working on a paper with a very interesting interpretation of Psalm 23 that has to do with the annual seasonal journey of a shepherd and his flock through the geography of Palestine that brings him back to the Temple each year. I’m looking forward to seeing it in its final form someday.
April 23rd, 2006 at 12:03 am
There’s an article in German I ran across (but never translated) last semester in my ldvd paper…the title, by my own translation, is “Psalm 23: A Hymn to Baal?” After graduation, if I have time, I’m gonna dig this up again, get it, translate it, and let you know what it says.
April 27th, 2006 at 11:33 am
Andrew E. Arterbury and William H. Bellinger, Jr. wrote an essay on Psalm 23.5-6 published in Biblica 86 (2005): 387-95. Here is the summary:
The essay is available
online in PDF.