My friend Steve sent me the following quote from the back page of Maxim magazine. I’ve never seen the publication, but apparently it’s one of those men’s magazines that only separates itself from Playboy or Hustler by the fact that the girl’s pictured (barely) have some shreds of clothing on.

So who should pop up in such pages, but Westminster Seminary’s own venerable professor of New Testament interpretation, Dr. Vern Sheridan Poythress (who happens to be my hermeneutics professor at the time of this writing). No, no pictures (sorry ladies). My friend tells me that he was quoted in a section in the back of the magazine where readers can send in any quesiton about any subject.

***WARNING*** The quote contains some vulgar language…but not from Dr. Poythress!

Q: What are the seven signs of the Apocalypse?
A: Seven signs of the apocalypse, seven Police Academy movies - just a coincidence? Well, yes. “There aren’t specific things in the book of Revelation enumerated as seven signs,” says Vern Poythress, professor of New Testament interpretation at Westminster Theological Seminary in Glenside, Pennsylvania. “But there are numerous things presented in groups of seven.” That includes seven trumpets, seven heads of the Beast, seven plagues in seven vials held by seven angels, and, most importantly, seven seals on a book that contains what Poythress calls God’s plan for humanity. When ol’ J.C. opens the seals, poop goes down: The four horsemen - conquest, war, famine, and death - ride as each of the first four seals are undone. Dead martyrs yell at God when the fifth seal goes, and the sixth’s opening makes stars fall, the sun go dark, and the moon turn blood red. Finally, as the seventh opens, there’s a powerful…half-hour of silence. Of course, popular belief says that good Christians will go to Heaven before all hell breaks loose - while priests get a quiet 30 minutes to themselves.

Dr. Poythress in Maxim. What’s next…R. C. Sproul hosting Saturday Night Live?

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