I’ve got several serious theological posts I’m thinking about, but they’ll have to wait until the break between semesters at the end of this month. In the meantime, your intrepid reporter has turned up a scandal worthy of CBS News with Dan Rather.

Yes, now that Christmas is over and the kiddies are back in school, the truth can be told about Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer. I speak not of the song, which has in itself been the center of swirling controversy, but rather I refer to the classic stop-motion animated special airing every Christmas since 1963.

Since the time I was a small child Santa’s indifference to the toys on the Island of Misfit Toys has disturbed me deeply. What message was this sending? If you’re not perfect, if you have some defect or handicap, you should be banished to some icy ghetto? The only mitigation came when Hermey (not Herbie) melts Santa’s heart and convinces him he should go on a mission of mercy to the Island, pick up the toys, and give them loving homes. Hearts are warmed. The children can sleep this night.

So imagine my shock when I learned that this final scene was not in the original script! It was actually added two years after the premiere due to public outcry.

This got me thinking…if only more of us had written letters back then (mine would have been in crayon), perhaps we would’ve gotten an additional half hour wherein the elves (even more oppressed than the toys, in my opinion) form a union and Santa is done in by Tony Soprano. Ah, if only I ran Rankin-Bass.

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